A Note on Hospitality and Weddings

Being a bride is maybe the only time in your life you will get to pull the card, "I'm the Bride! We're doing it MY way!" and sometimes it's hard to keep that in check and stay focused. As a planner, I believe it's important to deliver on the bride and groom's vision for their day, but that is not to the exclusion of your guests. It's critical to remember that you're throwing a party, you are the host and the same rules apply to hosting 100 people in a ballroom as they would if you invited a few couples over for dinner. You don't have to throw all your custom plans out the window, but there are definitely some things many people forget or don't consider when planning for their guests that you should think about.

• If you invited them to the wedding, they get face time with the happy couple. I have no greater peeve than going to a wedding and not getting a chance to say hello and congrats to the couple. I'm not saying you have to do an all-out receiving line, but it can be efficient. If you do a receiving line, it would be traditional to greet guests either as they leave the ceremony or as they enter the reception. If you are planning to take pictures before dinner and then having a large entrance after people are seated, you can still make a plan to "make the rounds," make sure you get to each table for a quick hello-- maybe consider handing out the favors personally? 
• Most weddings have at least a few guests who will need to travel from out of town and stay at a hotel, which we all know can be tiring and hectic, no matter how seasoned a traveler they are. It's important to make sure they can find and book a nice, clean hotel in a decent area. I always help my brides find at least two choices for a hotel that guests can choose from, as well as help them figure out how to get there, whether they need a car and maybe even a schedule of events for the weekend with directions-- these are the minimum, in my opinion. Having traveled a lot for weddings, I've really come to appreciate that extra touch from a couple-- a welcome note and small bag of snacks or tickets to a local baseball game when I arrive-- something that tells the traveler that you are grateful for the extra effort they put into coming to your wedding. A few bottles of water that can help someone avoid minibar charges can be as good as champagne for some people. 

• wThe day of is going to be busy and hectic for you and will fly by so fast you don't know what happened-- it probably won't feel that fast for your guests. Try to make sure that everyone knows where to be and when, with simple directions or transportation. If your ceremony site and reception site are different, make sure that the guests can travel in between in plenty of time. If it's outside and the summer, consider offering ice water, bug spray, etc. for the guests as they arrive... nothing worse than mosquito bites all over the back of someone in a great strapless dress. 
• The ceremony is yours, but the reception is for everyone. The ceremony is representation of who the couple is, as a couple and can be as customized as the bride and groom want-- if you want to say your vows in klingon, knowing only four people will understand, that's fine, go ahead! But when you move into the party, think about it as a party for everyone-- so a few quick reminders:
• Make sure the food allows for something for everyone. There should always be a vegetarian option, but make sure if you have people with special diets (gluten free or dairy free) that you can get an appropriate alternative to them. Also, make sure to have a menu somewhere that says what is in a dish, so they can check with the server about any concerns they may have. 
• Make sure they have something to do. Most weddings are about 90 minutes of eating/toasts/ceremony and 2 hours or so of dancing, and that's what many people like about weddings, so make sure you have a great DJ or band to keep people on the floor-- this isn't the time to bring out your love of industrial techno music from East Germany in the 80's... stick to classics and top 40 that will get everyone out on the floor. If you don't want dancing, there needs to be something offered as entertainment to the guests for coming out. I've been to weddings with games to play (carnival/lawn games or board games), but since many of the people there weren't really "gamers", it fizzled out quickly and people went home. Maybe you don't like to dance, but you don't have to-- you can spend the time going around and saying hello to everyone, but there needs to be something for the guests. 
• Decide on a kid policy and stick with it. Lots of people try to bring kids when they aren't invited and that's a level of rude I don't even have a name for. Make the decision to allow kids or not-- kids in the bridal party don't count if you want to ban all others. If you do have kids at the wedding, consider bringing in one or two babysitters to help at the reception at the kids table so the parents can enjoy the evening. You can bring in coloring books and toys for them to help them make it through dinner and toasts, and they can dance with everyone after. You can also try to arrange for babysitters nearby so guests can drop their kids off and then come enjoy alone.

 All in all, it's your day, do it your way! But remember the people you love most in the world are making the time to come out and celebrate with you and small moments of kindness and gratitude go so far in recognizing these and making people glad they came.

Check out my Pinterest board for more hospitality ideas! http://pinterest.com/kittenwithwhisk/hospitality/