Weddings 2.0: Engage!

If you didn't know, Kitten With a Whisk is only a side gig for me, by day I'm actually a marketing consultant who specializes in digital media. It isn't often that I get to use my fancy degrees and trainings and research from my day job and use it in my planning, but 2.0 is changing everything, including weddings.

Web 2.0 is the idea that every experience online can be interactive. It can be real time. It can be a collaborative online party that everyone can be a part of. Now we can take advantage of the ubiquitous camera phones, social media networks, QR codes and so many other things I bet you haven't thought of yet, so I'm going to name a few favorites of mine on how to bring the timelessness of your wedding day to the digital frontier.

1) Don't have time to write long blog entries about all the wedding plans as they come up or weed through page long emails from Aunt Greta who really just wants to know if she can get her wheelchair down the grass at your location? Microblog it! Set up a Twitter feed for the wedding and make sure to use hashtags like #Rehearsaldinnerfun or #Dayofphotos so your friends can see tantalizing previews of the big day, ask their questions (keeping it to 140 characters or less) and upload their photos of the events leading up to and including the day, all in one convenient place so you can ditch the disposable cameras that usually get abducted by the kids or the drunken fraternity brother who then proceeds to take 18 pictures of his butt.  Also, don't be afraid to start engaging your guests to get them as excited as you are for the big day: ask for song suggestions for the reception, poll how many vegetarians you have coming to the party, where should the rehearsal dinner be... They'll feel so touched that you asked for them to participate!

If you like the idea of guests being able to upload the photos and make comments, but want something that allows them to say more than a tweet, look into an app. One of the new ones out there I love is WeddingSnap. It allows for you to create a custom page for each event involved with your wedding, which guests will download to be able to comment and post pics in a central spot, no tagging or Facebook constantly changing privacy rules to worry about. They even include in the package a cute welcome card to give your guests (perfect to hand out with programs or leave in a stack next to the guest book at the reception) that will direct the guests how to load it and start sharing. The album stays up for one year after your wedding date and gives you control over who can access it. With the biggest package (still less than $200 bucks) you can even live stream photos as a slideshow during the cocktail hour, especially cool if you have a friend at your photo shoot that can take pictures of the process and upload-- your guests can see the photos as they sip champagne waiting for your entrance!

2) You know when you have to travel to a wedding and in the hotel room there is a massive folder on your bed with a welcome note and breakdown of the plans for the wedding, along with every brochure from the concierge listing things to do in the area? DITCH IT! Now you can go digital and use miWedding to get guests all the information they need! You can post the agenda for the weekend including who needs to be where when and they can automatically link to their GPS for directions. Instead of the folder in their welcome bags, just have one small note with directions to access your events for the weekend and it's going to cost a whopping $20 bucks for everyone of your guests to access!

3)There are some great online registry programs, things like universalregistry.com. But in case you are more of a tactile person and want to pick out your sheets and towels in person, but still don't want to commit to one or two stores? Try Wedding Scan, an app that allows you to snap the barcode of any item in any store and add it to your central registry! Also, for the less patient ones out there, you can set it to notify you whenever an item is purchased of the registry. I would just recommend removing that function about two weeks out or your phone is going to explode.

4) QR codes are the new thing, and I'm a big believer. In case you aren't familiar, they are the square barcode looking things being put everywhere to be scanned from your smartphone (requires any of a million QR scanner apps) and direct you to a website's landing page. Instead of sending out all those RSVP cards with pre-paid postage, go green and include a small note with your invitation directing your guests to scan the code and RSVP on your site. You'll still have to send RSVP cards to the older ludites on your guest list, but should still save you some last minute phone calls wondering why your brother hasn't RSVPd yet (I don't know, I put it in the mail weeks ago). Generate a QR code for free by just plugging in the website for RSVPs on a generator page like this.

There are so many ideas to choose from, I just picked my four favorites but let me know how you worked 2.0 into your wedding! And one last tidbit: Tweeting during the wedding is not funny... if you really must have your relationship status changed the moment you say "I Do", give your phone to a friend in the audience and ask them to do so (you wouldn't believe how often I'm asked about this). Nothing would be more awkward than seeing a bride with her smart phone at the altar while the groom patiently awaits his kiss.

Most Recent Obsessions

I'm always trying to find a way to bring new ideas to weddings. Recently I stumbled across some blogs with Real Weddings that wove in elements that I'm dying to steal!

Eastern Shore Crab Feast Wedding with Home Brewed Mead and Beer. I'm not even sure I need to explain why this is the greatest wedding ever. Being a Marylander, the sight of Chesapeake Bay Oysters, cooked crabs in a basket, corn on the cob and fried chicken is the ultimate feast fit for royalty. But the addition of a table full of friends' and familys' home brewed libations is not only adorable and smart, but it brings in an element that personalizes this wedding more than anything else possibly could. I instantly smell the salty air of the ocean, the breeze making the bride's veil float a bit and the down home bluegrass band playing in the background. What a perfect day!

A Comic Book Save the Date. This is a seriously fun way to work in that nerdy side of your groom without having to include it in your Black Tie wedding reception, everyone wins. The way that they worked it into the context of their Alice in Wonderland themed wedding was especially great. It isn't always easy to add such an element of whimsy, brides are afraid of being teased... but come on, how often do you get a Save-the-Date that your boyfriend or husband HAD to show to every guy friend he has?

Charitable favors. I can't say this is a brand new idea, it's been around in various forms for a while I'm sure, but I feel as though it's making it's way into the mainstream and I love it. Raise your hand if you've ever gotten a wedding favor that was super memorable and truly counted as an addition to the event for you as a guest. I have seen some couples go over board and provide a bottle of wine or whiskey (yep, saw that, I swear) for their guests, which would be lovely I'm sure, but I would personally tell that couple to save the money to put towards their honeymoon or a down payment for a house! Aside from somewhat rare exceptions, you're going to end up walking away with an adorable container of candy, a candle of some kind or a cute little knick-knack that you promptly lose and never think about again. So why not choose to make a donation in each of your guests' names to a charity you love? If you're having a hometown wedding, maybe there is a historical society or community outreach project you can donate to, or you could donate to a cause that's more personal to you, maybe a research foundation that works with a disease a loved one of yours died from and you would like to honor them. I've even been hearing about some people donating to political organizations that promote marriage equality, hoping to help those who aren't able to marry in front of their family and friends (although this one is a bit politically charged, so you may want to avoid being this controversial). Get creative and let your wedding day be the happiest day of a favorite charity's as well!

How to Have Your Cake... and Not Eat It Too! (Recessionista Post)

People spend a lot of money on a wedding. According to Reuters, the average cost of a wedding in the US is currently at $27,021, and if you live in the DC region like me, it's about $10,000 more than that. I always find myself so surprised by these numbers because I so rarely come across a couple who can afford that, or who simply won't pay that. I mean, I could have paid for Graduate school at Hopkins with that money and leave with no debt. 

But let me be clear. I think you should have the kind of wedding you want, as long as you can afford it. I would never suggest to a bride to take out a loan on her home or cash in retirement savings to pay for her wedding, come on, that's just silly. However, if you feel like tapping into your savings account just a little, or picking up some OT at work to afford that Priscilla of Boston gown, go for it. But there are plenty of ways to save money in one place in order to have more in another. Today, our entry is a piece of cake, literally! Well, I guess not literally, but there are some good recessionista tips below!

Why a wedding cake? 

If I had known when I got married the first time what a wedding cake symbolized, I may have simply skipped it. Ancient Romans and the Celts are known to have broken a "cake" made of barley or oats over the bride's head as a symbol of the breaking of her virginity and acknowledgement that she was now to be subservient to her husband. In some cultures it was done to bless the couple with great fertility. In England and France they often baked charms into the cake that would be found by random guests and indicated things like who would be married next and who was going to have the next child. And, of course, there is the messy tradition of unmarried girls taking home pieces of the wedding cake and sleeping with them under their pillows to induce dreams of the man they would someday marry.

That being said, times  have changed. We no longer bake the cake out of barley or oats, we don't break them over anyone's head, and cakes are now gorgeous confectionery structures, they can be quite the artistic achievement and serve as a gorgeous decoration to your wedding look. Cakes usually run between $3.50/slice up to 7.00/ slice. For a 150 person wedding, you could spend between $500-1000 on your cake! This is a GREAT way to save some cash in a few different places.

• First of all, if you know you want cake, tell your caterer to cut any dessert options they have listed in the proposal. Why get your guests hopped up on miniature pastries when they're going to get cake in 1/2 hour? One of the desserts (the caterer's or the cake) will end up pretty much going to waste.
• You don't need to buy a piece of cake for every single guest. With people leaving early, issues with diabetes and gluten allergies and people on diets, I find between 1/4 and 1/3 of a cake go completely uneaten (I'm not talking about the top tier, if you were hoping to save that for your anniversary). I would give a guest count of about 25% than the guests expected, it's not a TON of money, but it's probably a Bridesmaid's bouquet amount.
• If the caterer charges a cake cutting fee, and you have a choice, drop the caterer-- that's ridiculous, petty and all other kinds of stupid. They'll tell you it takes special experience to cut a wedding cake. Due to the tiered structure, that's partially true. Have someone you find to be fairly precise and steady handed and ask them to do this, if they don't know how (I'm surprised how many people of my parents age actually DO know this), have them watch this video for a quick how-to.
• Fake cake. In a nod to the elaborate cakes being shown on tv and in movies, businesses are starting to pop up which allow for you to rent or purchase the gorgeous, intricate and large cake that you always dreamed of, with some fancy touches you could never use for an edible confection, such as glue to mount flowers, jewels glitter – whatever you want (and remember how gross fondant is, but beautiful looking? No worries here!) And the best part is it's CHEAP. Most 2-4 tier fake cakes are going to cost you between $100 and $250, depending on customizations you want and shipping. Some are rentals, they will send you instructions to return ship (if you can't find a local supplier), some you can purchase and simply toss at the end of the night, or re-sell. A few points:
• Some stores will make you an edible top tier, or you can coordinate with a baker to match a top layer to the design of the rest of the cake. Another option is to ask for the fake cake company to create a slit you can put your knife in to get the picture of cutting your cake. Just stash a small slice of cake out of the picture range and use that when you're ready to feed each other.
• This allows you to serve your guests a much less expensive, but still delicious sheet cake, cupcakes, cake pops... or even skip the cake serving entirely, because let's face it-- how many wedding cakes have you tasted that were all that delicious? Great way to have the traditional cake photos and serve that Chocolate Mousse your caterer is known for!
• If you go this route, make sure you have designated someone to be in charge of the cake. They will need to set it up (you may need to rent/ buy/ purchase a cake stand) as well as take it at the end of the night to either toss, return (make sure you give them all the shipping info, ready to go) or give back to you. You also need to make sure, if you're serving sheet cake or any other kind of baked good, you have someone to cut/ serve (don't ASSUME your caterer will do this for free, see point 3 above). 
• Want to have something kind of fun and different, and SMALL to serve your guests after a huge meal? Or maybe your trying to only do finger foods but find the cupcake fad to be wearing thin (I'm so with you!), try cake pops!  They can even serve as a centerpiece, or serve each guest 2 or 3 varieties as a tasting!