A Little Night Music... Part II

In the years I have a heavy wedding schedule, I'm always tempted to play "reception music BINGO and mark off whenever I hear "Isn't She Lovely" or "The Way You Look Tonight".  These are great songs, some of the best, why else would so many people choose them? But if you're still actually reading my blog, there is a decent chance you want something a little different... something that would totally foil my ability to shout BINGO as soon as the DJ blasts Jock Jams for the bouquet toss (one of the cliches that IS simply a cliche, can we PLEASE try something new?) So, below are my ideas and suggestions to put your personal stamp on your reception music and get people out on the floor. 

Bridal Party Entrance
Often a missed opportunity to give a nod to your friends that have put up with your antics for the last year of your engagement and show everyone else who's there precisely what these people mean to you.

Sappy Ideas (Sappy is good in this context):

In My Life by The Beatles or Celine Deon's Because You Loved Me. I know these seem cliche, but if you move to a different part of the show and give it a new meaning, the whole thing seems fresh, somehow. 

Silly Ideas:

Wanna Be Startin' Something by Michael Jackson, Raise Your Glass by Pink, Give Up the Funk, Glory Days by Springsteen, Glad You Came... Honestly, it's hard to think of a BAD song here but I'd like to see more variety.


Getting People to Shake A Tail Feather

There is absolutely nothing I hate more at receptions (except maybe cash bars) than a DJ who tries to turn the evening into a four year old's birthday-- hula hoop, limbo contests, sing-a-longs, you wouldn't believe it. In my opinion, the best way to get people to dance is to pay music so infectious that people NEED to dance. A lot of the problem is generational-- sometimes it's hard for Great Aunt Bertha to get down to The Thong Song or Ke$ha's latest. Below are some of my tried and true favorites that have gotten my stoic and stolid father to bust a move on the dance floor-- we'll call it the Eric Williams Booty-Shaking Playlist.

Today it's about booty shaking, so I'm not putting ballads in there, that will have to come another time.

Shout
RESPECT
Man, I Feel Like a Woman (Shania Twain)
Any Way You Want It (Journey)
Don't Stop Believing (Journey)
Dancing Queen
Bad Romance (Gaga)
You Give Love A Bad Name (Bon Jovi)
Livin' on a Prayer (Bon Jovi)
Bye Bye Bye (NSync)
Conga (Gloria Estefan)
Wanna Be Startin' Something (MJ)
Raise Your Glass (Pink)
Flashdance
Footloose
Funky Town (Lipps, Inc.)
Firework (Katy Perry)
Gettin' Jiggy Wit It (Will Smith)
La Vida Loca (Ricky Martin)
Material Girl (Madonna)
I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Whitney Houston, but Glee did a great cover too)
I Want It That Way (Backstreet Boys)
Jump (For My Love) Pointer Sisters
Just the Way You Are (Bruno Mars)
Marry You (Bruno Mars)
Miami (Will Smith)
Straight Up (Paula Abdul)
Tainted Love (Soft Cell)
Telephone (Beyonce)
Love Potion #9
Zombie Jamboree
Little Old Lady from Pasadena (Beach Boys)
Hey Ya (Outkast)
Walk Like an Egyptian ( Bangles)
Video Killed the Radio Star (Buggles)
Burning Up (Madonna)
What I Like About You (Romantics)
Some Kind of Wonderful (Grand Funk Railroad)
Sweet Home Alabama (Skynard)
Blues Brothers (Soul Man)
Proud Mary (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
I Feel Good (James Brown)
Johnny B Good (Chuck Barry)
My Boyfriend's Back (The Angels)
Jailhouse Rock (Elvis)
I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor)
Vogue (Madonna)
We Got The Beat
Uptown Girl (Billy Joel)
We Found Love (Rihanna)
Smooth Criminal (Michael Jackson or Alien Ant Farm)
Sexy And I Know It (LMFAO)
What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger (Kelly Clarkson)
Here's To Us (Halestrom)
Hungry Like a Wolf (Duran Duran)
So Emotional (Whitney Houston)
Love You Like a Love Song (Only really like the Glee version)
What Makes You Beautiful (One Direction)
Pinball Wizard (The Who)
Starships (Nicki Minaj)
Me Against the Music (Britney)
Only The Good Die Young (Billy Joel)
River Deep, Mountain High (Ike and Tina Turner)
Everything (Michael Buble)
Hollywood (Buble)
Sway (Buble)
Silly Love Song (Paul McCartney)
Somebody to Love (Queen)
Walkin' on Sunshine (Katrina and the Waves)
Jump (Van Halen)
My Life Would Suck Without You (Kelly Clarkson)
Fire (Springsteen)
Jessie's Girl (Rick Springfield)
 Dream On (Aerosmith)
Cryin' (Aerosmith)
Pink (Aerosmith)
Safety Dance (Men Without Hats)

Weddings 2.0: Engage!

If you didn't know, Kitten With a Whisk is only a side gig for me, by day I'm actually a marketing consultant who specializes in digital media. It isn't often that I get to use my fancy degrees and trainings and research from my day job and use it in my planning, but 2.0 is changing everything, including weddings.

Web 2.0 is the idea that every experience online can be interactive. It can be real time. It can be a collaborative online party that everyone can be a part of. Now we can take advantage of the ubiquitous camera phones, social media networks, QR codes and so many other things I bet you haven't thought of yet, so I'm going to name a few favorites of mine on how to bring the timelessness of your wedding day to the digital frontier.

1) Don't have time to write long blog entries about all the wedding plans as they come up or weed through page long emails from Aunt Greta who really just wants to know if she can get her wheelchair down the grass at your location? Microblog it! Set up a Twitter feed for the wedding and make sure to use hashtags like #Rehearsaldinnerfun or #Dayofphotos so your friends can see tantalizing previews of the big day, ask their questions (keeping it to 140 characters or less) and upload their photos of the events leading up to and including the day, all in one convenient place so you can ditch the disposable cameras that usually get abducted by the kids or the drunken fraternity brother who then proceeds to take 18 pictures of his butt.  Also, don't be afraid to start engaging your guests to get them as excited as you are for the big day: ask for song suggestions for the reception, poll how many vegetarians you have coming to the party, where should the rehearsal dinner be... They'll feel so touched that you asked for them to participate!

If you like the idea of guests being able to upload the photos and make comments, but want something that allows them to say more than a tweet, look into an app. One of the new ones out there I love is WeddingSnap. It allows for you to create a custom page for each event involved with your wedding, which guests will download to be able to comment and post pics in a central spot, no tagging or Facebook constantly changing privacy rules to worry about. They even include in the package a cute welcome card to give your guests (perfect to hand out with programs or leave in a stack next to the guest book at the reception) that will direct the guests how to load it and start sharing. The album stays up for one year after your wedding date and gives you control over who can access it. With the biggest package (still less than $200 bucks) you can even live stream photos as a slideshow during the cocktail hour, especially cool if you have a friend at your photo shoot that can take pictures of the process and upload-- your guests can see the photos as they sip champagne waiting for your entrance!

2) You know when you have to travel to a wedding and in the hotel room there is a massive folder on your bed with a welcome note and breakdown of the plans for the wedding, along with every brochure from the concierge listing things to do in the area? DITCH IT! Now you can go digital and use miWedding to get guests all the information they need! You can post the agenda for the weekend including who needs to be where when and they can automatically link to their GPS for directions. Instead of the folder in their welcome bags, just have one small note with directions to access your events for the weekend and it's going to cost a whopping $20 bucks for everyone of your guests to access!

3)There are some great online registry programs, things like universalregistry.com. But in case you are more of a tactile person and want to pick out your sheets and towels in person, but still don't want to commit to one or two stores? Try Wedding Scan, an app that allows you to snap the barcode of any item in any store and add it to your central registry! Also, for the less patient ones out there, you can set it to notify you whenever an item is purchased of the registry. I would just recommend removing that function about two weeks out or your phone is going to explode.

4) QR codes are the new thing, and I'm a big believer. In case you aren't familiar, they are the square barcode looking things being put everywhere to be scanned from your smartphone (requires any of a million QR scanner apps) and direct you to a website's landing page. Instead of sending out all those RSVP cards with pre-paid postage, go green and include a small note with your invitation directing your guests to scan the code and RSVP on your site. You'll still have to send RSVP cards to the older ludites on your guest list, but should still save you some last minute phone calls wondering why your brother hasn't RSVPd yet (I don't know, I put it in the mail weeks ago). Generate a QR code for free by just plugging in the website for RSVPs on a generator page like this.

There are so many ideas to choose from, I just picked my four favorites but let me know how you worked 2.0 into your wedding! And one last tidbit: Tweeting during the wedding is not funny... if you really must have your relationship status changed the moment you say "I Do", give your phone to a friend in the audience and ask them to do so (you wouldn't believe how often I'm asked about this). Nothing would be more awkward than seeing a bride with her smart phone at the altar while the groom patiently awaits his kiss.

Most Recent Obsessions

I'm always trying to find a way to bring new ideas to weddings. Recently I stumbled across some blogs with Real Weddings that wove in elements that I'm dying to steal!

Eastern Shore Crab Feast Wedding with Home Brewed Mead and Beer. I'm not even sure I need to explain why this is the greatest wedding ever. Being a Marylander, the sight of Chesapeake Bay Oysters, cooked crabs in a basket, corn on the cob and fried chicken is the ultimate feast fit for royalty. But the addition of a table full of friends' and familys' home brewed libations is not only adorable and smart, but it brings in an element that personalizes this wedding more than anything else possibly could. I instantly smell the salty air of the ocean, the breeze making the bride's veil float a bit and the down home bluegrass band playing in the background. What a perfect day!

A Comic Book Save the Date. This is a seriously fun way to work in that nerdy side of your groom without having to include it in your Black Tie wedding reception, everyone wins. The way that they worked it into the context of their Alice in Wonderland themed wedding was especially great. It isn't always easy to add such an element of whimsy, brides are afraid of being teased... but come on, how often do you get a Save-the-Date that your boyfriend or husband HAD to show to every guy friend he has?

Charitable favors. I can't say this is a brand new idea, it's been around in various forms for a while I'm sure, but I feel as though it's making it's way into the mainstream and I love it. Raise your hand if you've ever gotten a wedding favor that was super memorable and truly counted as an addition to the event for you as a guest. I have seen some couples go over board and provide a bottle of wine or whiskey (yep, saw that, I swear) for their guests, which would be lovely I'm sure, but I would personally tell that couple to save the money to put towards their honeymoon or a down payment for a house! Aside from somewhat rare exceptions, you're going to end up walking away with an adorable container of candy, a candle of some kind or a cute little knick-knack that you promptly lose and never think about again. So why not choose to make a donation in each of your guests' names to a charity you love? If you're having a hometown wedding, maybe there is a historical society or community outreach project you can donate to, or you could donate to a cause that's more personal to you, maybe a research foundation that works with a disease a loved one of yours died from and you would like to honor them. I've even been hearing about some people donating to political organizations that promote marriage equality, hoping to help those who aren't able to marry in front of their family and friends (although this one is a bit politically charged, so you may want to avoid being this controversial). Get creative and let your wedding day be the happiest day of a favorite charity's as well!

How to Have Your Cake... and Not Eat It Too! (Recessionista Post)

People spend a lot of money on a wedding. According to Reuters, the average cost of a wedding in the US is currently at $27,021, and if you live in the DC region like me, it's about $10,000 more than that. I always find myself so surprised by these numbers because I so rarely come across a couple who can afford that, or who simply won't pay that. I mean, I could have paid for Graduate school at Hopkins with that money and leave with no debt. 

But let me be clear. I think you should have the kind of wedding you want, as long as you can afford it. I would never suggest to a bride to take out a loan on her home or cash in retirement savings to pay for her wedding, come on, that's just silly. However, if you feel like tapping into your savings account just a little, or picking up some OT at work to afford that Priscilla of Boston gown, go for it. But there are plenty of ways to save money in one place in order to have more in another. Today, our entry is a piece of cake, literally! Well, I guess not literally, but there are some good recessionista tips below!

Why a wedding cake? 

If I had known when I got married the first time what a wedding cake symbolized, I may have simply skipped it. Ancient Romans and the Celts are known to have broken a "cake" made of barley or oats over the bride's head as a symbol of the breaking of her virginity and acknowledgement that she was now to be subservient to her husband. In some cultures it was done to bless the couple with great fertility. In England and France they often baked charms into the cake that would be found by random guests and indicated things like who would be married next and who was going to have the next child. And, of course, there is the messy tradition of unmarried girls taking home pieces of the wedding cake and sleeping with them under their pillows to induce dreams of the man they would someday marry.

That being said, times  have changed. We no longer bake the cake out of barley or oats, we don't break them over anyone's head, and cakes are now gorgeous confectionery structures, they can be quite the artistic achievement and serve as a gorgeous decoration to your wedding look. Cakes usually run between $3.50/slice up to 7.00/ slice. For a 150 person wedding, you could spend between $500-1000 on your cake! This is a GREAT way to save some cash in a few different places.

• First of all, if you know you want cake, tell your caterer to cut any dessert options they have listed in the proposal. Why get your guests hopped up on miniature pastries when they're going to get cake in 1/2 hour? One of the desserts (the caterer's or the cake) will end up pretty much going to waste.
• You don't need to buy a piece of cake for every single guest. With people leaving early, issues with diabetes and gluten allergies and people on diets, I find between 1/4 and 1/3 of a cake go completely uneaten (I'm not talking about the top tier, if you were hoping to save that for your anniversary). I would give a guest count of about 25% than the guests expected, it's not a TON of money, but it's probably a Bridesmaid's bouquet amount.
• If the caterer charges a cake cutting fee, and you have a choice, drop the caterer-- that's ridiculous, petty and all other kinds of stupid. They'll tell you it takes special experience to cut a wedding cake. Due to the tiered structure, that's partially true. Have someone you find to be fairly precise and steady handed and ask them to do this, if they don't know how (I'm surprised how many people of my parents age actually DO know this), have them watch this video for a quick how-to.
• Fake cake. In a nod to the elaborate cakes being shown on tv and in movies, businesses are starting to pop up which allow for you to rent or purchase the gorgeous, intricate and large cake that you always dreamed of, with some fancy touches you could never use for an edible confection, such as glue to mount flowers, jewels glitter – whatever you want (and remember how gross fondant is, but beautiful looking? No worries here!) And the best part is it's CHEAP. Most 2-4 tier fake cakes are going to cost you between $100 and $250, depending on customizations you want and shipping. Some are rentals, they will send you instructions to return ship (if you can't find a local supplier), some you can purchase and simply toss at the end of the night, or re-sell. A few points:
• Some stores will make you an edible top tier, or you can coordinate with a baker to match a top layer to the design of the rest of the cake. Another option is to ask for the fake cake company to create a slit you can put your knife in to get the picture of cutting your cake. Just stash a small slice of cake out of the picture range and use that when you're ready to feed each other.
• This allows you to serve your guests a much less expensive, but still delicious sheet cake, cupcakes, cake pops... or even skip the cake serving entirely, because let's face it-- how many wedding cakes have you tasted that were all that delicious? Great way to have the traditional cake photos and serve that Chocolate Mousse your caterer is known for!
• If you go this route, make sure you have designated someone to be in charge of the cake. They will need to set it up (you may need to rent/ buy/ purchase a cake stand) as well as take it at the end of the night to either toss, return (make sure you give them all the shipping info, ready to go) or give back to you. You also need to make sure, if you're serving sheet cake or any other kind of baked good, you have someone to cut/ serve (don't ASSUME your caterer will do this for free, see point 3 above). 
• Want to have something kind of fun and different, and SMALL to serve your guests after a huge meal? Or maybe your trying to only do finger foods but find the cupcake fad to be wearing thin (I'm so with you!), try cake pops!  They can even serve as a centerpiece, or serve each guest 2 or 3 varieties as a tasting!

DIY Intervention

Step away from the hot glue gun, floral tape, fondant from the craft store... whatever your genius project for the day is! Just for a minute, I promise. 

This is an intervention.

You are about to have 50-300 people coming to your wedding: family from out of town, people you have never met who you will be expected to sit and chat with at some pre-wedding function, people who others can't be near without starting the Hatfields vs McCoys 2012, and a million other stresses I'm not going to name, you don't need anymore stress piled on you at the moment. 

That's why I'm here. Help me help you.

Do It Yourself (DIY) is a great idea for many couples-- IN MODERATION! Some of the best weddings I've been to have been major DIY affairs, they were fun and warm and happy events that left imprints in my mind. And then there have been some where the bride and her girls were up until 2 am the night before the wedding putting the finishing touches on various projects, because the flowers show up to be made into bouquets and they're wilted, or the cake didn't bake correctly and now it's a lopsided mess. By the time the bride gets down the aisle she's so exhausted she can barely stay awake through the ceremony and toasts, much less get down on the dance floor.

My point is, don't get so caught up in the DIY stuff that you find you can't actually enjoy the wedding. And by the way, same goes for friends and family who offer to help. I know it sounds perfect that your Maid of Honor has offered to do the centerpieces for all 20 of your tables; she has a great eye, runs a gallery! Trust me, you are going to want her bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for the big day to help you get ready, keep your champagne glass full, settle fights between your mom and dad who are now exes, etc. You aren't going to want her creating 20 centerpieces, along with the cake table, buffet table, etc.

So let's break this down, what can be DIY without leading to a breakdown the day of the wedding? Here are my tips for how to keep it in check and stay calm.

1) Anything that will require more than one hour of attention on the day of the wedding by you, any member of your bridal party, the groom or parents-- DON'T DIY! You are all going to have plenty to do, you need sleep the night before, you need relaxation that day while getting your hair/ make up done, etc. This day is not about logistics for you, that's what you've been dealing with since the day he put a ring on your finger. This is the day for you to sit back and see all your previous hard work come to fruition.

2) Before you decide to DIY, ask yourself why you're choosing to do it. The most common reasons I hear are:

     "I'm so particular about this I'll only end up being dissatisfied and/or drive the vendor insane   with my micromanagement".

First, meet some vendors. Speak with as many as you can, explain your thoughts and your fears and see if you can't find someone who you do trust... after all, there is a reason why they do this for a living and may have insights you didn't think about, an improvement on your idea, and of course, they usually they have connections you don't. You still might need to do it yourself, but find out if that's true. 

If you still decide to DIY, go for it, but soon. No matter how small the task may be, make sure you start planning it a few months out from the wedding. If you want to do your own bouquets, that's great! Look around and figure out where to get the flowers from, search online for reviews for this place. Buy some early and try out your technique and your look to make sure you can do what you want the night before (you really can't do a bouquet any earlier than that or it will start to die by the end of the afternoon). Read up on tips and tricks or even ask a florist for a few pointers. And, make sure that you understand that it may not turn out exactly as you wanted, it may turn out that the reason your florist said they COULDN'T do what you want is because it just doesn't work. Be flexible and roll with it, it's all going to work out.

    "I really need to cut costs so I'm going to go ahead and make 200 cupcakes myself, the baker will just do one tier for way less".

I love how people always think that DIY is less money. Sometimes it is. If you want bouquets made of baby's breath for all your bridesmaids, why bother paying a florist $40/ each,  you can make them for probably $5. But bigger ticket items are rarely less as DIY. There is a reason why we have the adage, "you get what you pay for". I worked on a wedding where the bride just didn't believe her food should cost so much, the caterers were all robbers, she would round up friends the day before the wedding and using her church's kitchen would make the food. First of all, imagine how excited all her bridesmaids were to spend a summer day in a hot kitchen, cooking for 180 people. Sure, "happy to help" is the motto, but they were hoping for a day of pedicures and tanning by a pool. The caterer would have cost $6300, including setting up, putting out centerpieces and serving/ bussing/ bartending. She ended up paying $4300 for food, $400 in plastic dishes ,cups, utensils, $200 in serving dishes, $100 for trash removal from the venue, and had to press her entire bridal party and family into service for a solid 48 hours to get that stuff done. Sure, she saved $1700 bucks, but was it worth it? 

Make sure you really look at the costs. Any vendor worth their salt should give you an itemized estimate-- when they do, check every line item and the cost for it, then determine if you can do it cheaply enough to make it worth the DIY effort. And if you still decide to go DIY, make sure you don't volunteer anyone for anything. Yes they're your family and friends, and you're sure they won't mind, ask anyways; they've already done a lot for you for this wedding and they usually have things going on their lives that has nothing to do with your wedding... so always always check first.

   "I want to personalize this wedding, so I'm going to make my own decorations and favors and wedding dress".

 I love it when the bride and groom add special touches to their day to make it truly them, who wants a cookie cutter wedding? All I ask is that you keep it in check. Centerpieces with pictures of the couple are great, incorporating a wine theme into the wedding because he proposed at a vineyard is lovely, writing a personalized note on the back of each person's menu card at their place setting is, while lovely, insane (unless you have a guest list of 20 people). Pick your battles!

There are ways to cut costs and get personal attention that don't include DIY, remember when you were in college and you were totally broke but really great at photography (insert calligraphy, cooking, bartending, whatever)? Look around at the local schools for talent you can pull in for a fraction of the cost. You may lose a little in final product, remember, they're still learning, but you are likely to get some phenomenal work for so much less. Check out the local art schools for someone to design your invitations or take pictures (definitely require you see a robust portfolio and do your engagement shots before as a trial), video record the wedding... you could even check with the local culinary schools if you have one nearby to see if they have students interested in catering the rehearsal or a making the cake? These students are amazing at what they do, and are probably so grateful for the work your cost is going to be a tiny fraction of what an established pro would cost.

I don't mean to come off as harsh and anti-DIY, I love DIY elements. Just make sure you take a good look at each project you're planning, your schedule, your experience. If you're a graphic designer, why not design your invitations? However, if you usually order takeout for dinner and have pots and pans stored in your oven, now is not the time to try and find your internal pastry chef and make a three tier cake, having once tried this, DON'T, nothing sucks more than trying to rebuild a cake after it's been dropped on the floor.

 

A Little Night Music, Please...

I'm a sucker for the classics, I mean they're classics for a reason, right? Has there ever been a time where you have ever been to a wedding and the Bride's dramatic entrance to the Bridal March by Mendelssohn and thought "ugh, something new please!"? Or that you rolled your eyes while Bride and Groom danced to "The Way You Look Tonight" or "I Will Always Love You"?  Even my most jaded days I can't help but feel a few tears come to my eyes over these songs' opening notes, they're timeless!

However, it's one of the biggest things couples struggle with in the wedding process... how to mix not only their families, but their musical tastes. Sometimes going a little different on your music choices is what makes the difference of it feeling like a bride and a groom, but a family unit. I spent some time trolling websites to make sure I didn't hit any of the really common ones you'll see anywhere on TheKnot or Brides.com, each of these should in some way sound a little different to you and make you a one-of-a-kind bride. 

Am I missing any forgotten gems?

Procession:

Classic with a twist? Even for the non-U2 fans out there (like me), try some Jon Schmidt Pachelbel Meets U2... can you picture the Bride's entrance right around the 3:30 mark? Especially good for a big bridal party, but you can always cut it down a bit, or just let everyone enjoy the intricacies of the piece for a minute.

Don't Think About the Lyrics. If you don't really care what the lyrics are actually about, check out one more from The Piano Guys, a classic Adele hit, Rolling in the Deep may seem a strange choice for your wedding march, but it's hard to deny its anthemic qualities and the cello certainly adds something to the piece for a walk down the aisle!

Classical Rock. No, not classic rock. Well, actually, yeah-- it is. Love something a bit harder, never really got into the music masters of the 17th and 18th centuries?  Try taking a favorite piece, such as Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, or Somebody to Love by Queen (try it with or without the vocals) and putting it to a symphony. Great Aunt Greta will never even know it wasn't originally a piece by one of the Masters.

Ceremony Music:

Now this is a post I would like to hear more about, what are some good songs for family or friends to perform during the wedding? It does depend on your venue, a lot of churches/ places of worship have restrictions on the type of music that can be sung in the sanctuary, so always check first!  I was at a great wedding where the bride and groom chose "Silly Love Songs" because it was playing in the delivery room when their son was born. I've also been in the wedding of a Broadway Baby and she made sure her ceremony was chock-full of classic showtunes about love. 

Some of my favorite ceremony performance choices?

Show Tunes:

You Are My Home from The Scarlet Pimpernel (don't worry about the brother/ sister part, it's still beautiful and makes for a great duet OR solo) If I Loved You from Carousel; All I Ask of You from Phantom of the Opera (Although I do admit that the names being in the song present a re-write challenge... but if you're friends are actually named Raoul or Christine, you're GOLDEN!) and a new choice I've fallen in love with, from Memphis: Love Will Stand When All Else Falls, especially if you can wrangle a few members of a gospel choir for back up.

Radio Hits:

I Just Can't Stop Loving You (Check out the Glee version for a good arrangement); Norah Jones Be Here to Love Me; Faith Hill and Tim McGraw's It's Your Love; or pretty much ANY standard a la Sinatra/ Buble-- Witchcraft, Try Some Tenderness; The Best is Yet to Come.

Recessional:

Not that I don't laugh when immediately following the Bride and Groom's first kiss, on comes the Hallelujah chorus or strains of Etta James singing, "At Last". But this is such a missed opportunity for so many couples to signal the end of the serious stuff and get to a PARTY! Some options I'd love to hear during the triumphal saunter back up the aisle? Maybe a little Michael Jackson in The Way You Make Me Feel or a different 80's hit-- What a Feeling from Flashdance? Feel like strutting? Michael Buble's Feeling Good is perfect for a little bit of a swagger, or maybe try the chorus of So Happy Together by the Turtles, a classic!

So, I'll continue in another post the fun ones for a reception in a follow-up post, but to recap:

• Remember to check with the officiant about any rules the church may have re: music
• Don't be afraid to use an instrumental you love of a song that you particularly love (was part of a wedding where the bride walked down the aisle to a marching band version of "In My Life", a nod to the bride and groom meeting through their college marching band)
• If you are having trouble choosing a song for a first dance, think about whether it would work for a part of the ceremony-- you don't have to pick just one song that describes your relationship!

Getting Started

Getting Started

"You got engaged! Congratulations, now tell me absolutely everything about your wedding plans this second or I will bug you until you do."  I have to admit that I get as caught up as anyone else when people get engaged and I want to hear all about their plans. As a newly engaged couple, learn to exercise your right to not say anything in this early stage. You have no idea what will happen between now and then, what kind of wedding you will have, what your budget is-- so just be vague! Thank them for their interest and try to distract them with your shiny new bling!

I once worked with a bride who's fiance had planned a surprise engagement party for the night he proposed. The bride, high on emotions and four glasses of champagne, asked all her girlfriends who were there to be in her bridal party.  Two weeks later, in the harsh light of wedding spreadsheets and budgets, she realized to keep that promise and still include two friends who had not been there that night, she would have 11 bridesmaids-- she had wanted 3 for what she was hoping would be a very small wedding.  Oops.

Another bride said that everything for her wedding would be purple; a nice lavender and silver combo. Her future mother-in-law set to work collecting all things purple, including a dress. Two months later (the engagement was only about 6 months long), the groom mentioned to his mom that he was so glad he had talked the bride out of purple and into bright yellows and pinks.

How to handle managing your schedule during this period? My advice:

Try not to spend more than five hours a week over the first few weeks doing actual "planning."  Have dinner with your parents, meet his parents (if you haven't), show off the ring, have a conversation about budget and who will pay for what, find out about important dates you need to worry about (e.g., your sister will be giving birth in June, but you want her to be your bridesmaid, so maybe try to do it before May or a few months AFTER she has the baby). Kick around ideas about traditions that you want to continue or start, about bridal party members, but do not commit to anything.

How many times do we hear friends say, "oh, we're going to have a small, intimate wedding" that soon becomes black tie, seated dinner for 200+ people? Or, the opposite, "I want to get married at the Walters Art Gallery", and then they learn it is (and this is true) $10,000 to rent for the wedding, plus their caterer starts at $80/pp... hmm, suddenly the backyard of your future in-laws starts to have its appeal, huh? 

And then there is the bridal party. I think most people, even guys, have a running list that they constantly tweak throughout their lives, keeping track of who would stand up with them someday.  The problem is, that list is fluid. Also, you haven't checked in with your fiance about his yet-- perhaps he wants 9 men and you were hoping for your two sisters to be MOHs and no bridesmaids.  Or, he wants to ask 9 men, but doesn't understand that it means they have to fork over some cash for things like a tux and a bachelor party... You guys are about to get married, you need to talk this stuff out-- get on the same page.

So that's it.  If you have more than 6 months to plan your wedding, DO NOT MAKE ANY COMMITMENTS FOR AT LEAST TWO WEEKS. You just agreed to make an awfully big one, leave it at that for a few days, then you can go as nuts as you like!

As I begin to wind down Grad School and become more settled in Frederick and with the new (day) job, I thought it would be a good time to pick back up on my blog covering event planning, weddings, catering, food and random thoughts. Wedding season is definitely upon us, I'm currently working with 3 brides, and have invitations for a few more weddings in 2012-- and it's only MAY! 

Now, I haven't been actively working on weddings in the last two years while I've been working on my Masters, but I tried to stay on the peripheral so as to not lose touch. Two weeks ago, I spoke to a bride and agreed to help with her wedding. After that meeting I did the natural thing: I went to TheKnot.com, brides.com and a few other sites to check in on trends, tips, articles and then bought a few magazines at the checkout stand at Giant (p.s., fun way to freak out your boyfriend, don't mention you have a new client and start unabashedly admiring dresses and cakes). 

After a weekend of research, I came to the following conclusions: 

1) I will never understand what some people choose to spend their money on. I'm not talking about a couture gown or a seated dinner for 400, I understand wanting certain niceties and if you can afford it, why not? No way would I begrudge Chelsea Clinton a $20,000 Vera Wang gown or Kim Kardashian's mom getting a $50,000 face lift for the big day- their bank accounts will never know the difference. No, I'm speaking about things that are so over the top, even I wince at the price tag. Things like the invitation that is a 14 page book (yes, bound with a leather cover), with photos of the bride and groom, details about their lives, love poems, etc. Cost of this invite? $15 each. And the catch? $4.00 to SHIP these to the 150 guests. For all you playing the home game, that's $2,850. For invitations. I love it when people personalize the small things, this seems a bit excessive. 

My recessionista suggestion? Go to an online QR code generator (I like qrstuff.net) and allow people to scan your Save the Date or invitation to instantly access your wedding website where they can spend some time perusing through your story, your photos and wish you well on your virtual guest book. Added bonus?  You can direct guests to RSVP online and not have to worry about mail getting lost or being late, then automatically export to a spreadsheet for tracking!

2) All big-name, corporate wedding websites are exactly the same. And you know what else? Their content is about as fresh a university dining hall doughnut. "25 new color combos you won't believe work!" Cut to an article about how it's ok to mix fuschia and tangerine, or have a black and white wedding. I got married nine years ago and I promise you that the SAME article was online then. I realize not THAT many people who were on The Knot nine years ago would be on now (hopefully), but between your wedding, your friends and family's weddings, and watching any show on TLC, it starts to feel like there are NO new ideas; its like Hollywood and plots for Indiana Jones (I know, I need to get over Crystal Skull, I just feel so betrayed.) 

3) Across the board, the most beautiful and memorable weddings are the ones where the couple is happy and in love, the family and friends thrilled to see them so, and the details are reflections of who they are as a couple and as a family. I can't tell you how many weddings I've been to that were lovely, expensive, cookie cutter versions of the one in Father of the Bride or Charlotte's in Sex and the City (either one). Yes, the bride and groom were thrilled with their fete, but I'll tell you what, I can't remember anything about them. And guess what? That's fine, it was the wedding of their dreams! But for those Brides who want to make a splash on their big day? Make it yours. Remember, the people coming are the ones that are the most important in your lives, and they love you for what makes you you, so put as much of that into the day as possible, and whether it's a backyard barbecue or a ballroom at the Ritz, it will be perfect.